Ineffective Daily Affirmations
- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels if suspicion and paranoia.
- i assume full responiblity for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- In some cultures what I do would be concidered normal.
- Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
- I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
- Joan of Arc heard voices too.
- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
- As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
- When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But it's not nearly as gratifying.
- The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
- As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
- All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
- I am at one with my duality
- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
- I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
- Does my quiet self-pity get to you? Yes? Or should I move up to incessant nagging?
- False hope in nicer than no hope at all.
- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
- Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute.....I'll find someone.
- Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future.
- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
- Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step, blaming my parents.
- To understand all is to fear all.
- I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people to laugh at.
- The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I'm not home.
- I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is.
- Todat I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than, "I told you so."